Literally PINK....and its deeper than you think ;)

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

"God only knows what i'd be without you.."

happie song *grin* =)

girlnumber20 @ 10:06 AM | |

Monday, April 26, 2004

Dearest Shane,

Perhaps..
it's cuz i just got my period again today and my tummy feels queasy..
its cuz the irky feeling of tdy's movie still bothers me
its cuz im in the living room all by myself with no other sound but the tapping of my keyboard and the monotonous fan
(**i shall turn on the TV - - Rocko's Modern Life is now keeping me company**)

its cuz im not used to not seeing u everyday (stupid hall-life.. got me addicted and took it all away)
it's cuz im not used to not getting your goodnight hugs and kisses everynight
its cuz i see 'people' talking to u that make me just a *little* jealous (but dont mind me..)
it's cuz i just spent the day with you and im having cold turkey now

it's cuz theres so much i wanna do but theres just not enought time/opportunities
its cuz theres so much i wanna be but dont know how to get there
its cuz theres so much i wish i was but can only know that i am just not

its cuz i've started unpacking all my hall stuff and now my rooms a big mess
it's cuz i wanna talk to you but i dont know what to say and i dont wanna waste ur time by calling and have u think im over-dependant...

i dunno.. for perhaps all these reasons and more, i really wish u were right here wrapped in my arms tonight, .. im feeling icky now.. empty. lost. vulnerable. out of place. weak. dysfunctional. incomplete.

(FUCK - i sound like one of those wimpy, lame-ass, cant-take-care-of-herself, useless, dependant, brainless, depressed and whiney girlfriend... the type i ridicule and look down upon.. i do hope i have not become one.. or that will be falling into the trap that everyone foresaw i would.. cant let that happen.. but tonight just sucks.. im cashing in my 'moody day whining token' )

it's crazy.. and i know that i already have more of you than most other people in ur life, but i still miss u so much right now, it hurts.. (or are those just my cramps?? *ouchie* oh but it hurts just the same and u being here can make it go away just the same *grin*)

Love, Mil

girlnumber20 @ 9:50 AM | |

ooh yay.. so im not too bad in english i guess *thank god*
haha ..worth majoring in?

Master!

You are a MASTER of the English language!

While your English is not exactly perfect,
you are still more grammatically correct than
just about every American. Still, there is
always room for improvement...

How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

ooh yay.. so im not too bad in english i guess *thank god*
haha ..worth majoring in? well lets not show off now.. unlike shane who makes fun of everyone he thinks is lesser than he.. poor gaylord.. stop being a meanie k? but i have to say.. it was darn funny. =)

girlnumber20 @ 8:50 AM | |

now im pissed.. SUPER... i wrote a humongously long blog entry the other day.. THOUGHT i posted it.. and when i wanted to finish it tdy, its not here anymore! *grrrr* [ AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? it just did it again when i tried to post it.. argh!!! what is the problem blogger?!!]

oh well.. too fed up to re-rewrite everything.. so i'll just share a little bit of last wed..
was waiting for zhen at novena square for a quick lunch when this little encounter found me:

MAN: (mid-30's.. pink business shirt) u know if theres a supermkt here?
ME: nope.. dunno..
MAN: Are u japanese?
ME: Huh?!
MAN: oh u look jap.. are u? (note: yeah i cried the night b4 and my eyes were puffy.. guess that was darn noticible)
ME: no
MAN: but ur mixed or something right? not local right?
ME: nope.. just plain old chinese
MAN: ah.. (and he keeps blocking my walking path) so no work tdy?
ME: im a student.. uni..
MAN: oh! so school holidays started already lah..
ME: yeah.. anyways im in a hurry.. (was getting rather impatient)
MAN: whats ur phone number? (whips out techy phone)
ME: what?! .. i dont think so
MAN: (surprised look.. what right does HE have to be surprised??) huh? Why? Oh my name is Kevin (or Kelvin.. cant rmb) where u goin now?
ME: NO. ?my bf wont be pleased? ( a line I was taught to save me from most undesirable attn) besides.. I meeting someone NOW.
MAN: then when will I see u again..
ME: um.. when u do, I guess *big cheesy gRin*

(and right after i met zhen and told her the whole story, she the resident-novena-chick tell laughs and tell me that the Cold Storage supermkt was just right behind the guy when he started approaching me... haha.. the things men do nowadays.. for 'company')

girlnumber20 @ 5:30 AM | |

Monday, April 19, 2004

Hey! people who did Cyrano de Bergerac in drama.. haha remember Wai Cheung?? hahaha that buaya senior that came back to play a musketeer dancer?? heh, i just switched on TV and realized that he's 'a guy' in "An Eye for a Guy" hahaha.. and to think that he was one of Creffields faves..

girlnumber20 @ 7:14 AM | |

drippin' wet
- right here, right now.
...and i did it all by myself *wink*

thats right.. heh just came back up from the gym.. worked up the biggest sweat i've had since.. i honestly cant rmb when since im always cooped up in hall making up excuses for shane so i dont have to run.. but tdy felt good. i stretched.. i did weights.. situps.. crunches.. i cycled.. i ran 2.4km.. and i even met a boyband member lookalike named kevin (*how* typical..)

i realise that i like treadmills more than coving actual distance outside.. i dont know why especially when its so much easier to persuade someone that running outside 'lets u see the scenery.. smell nature.. break monotony with variations.. and feel a greater sense of acheivment..' (laaadidaaah) .. BUT i kinda like running in a aircon place surrounded by mirrors music and a tv.. its rather cozy.. and i like looking at myself.. sounds narcissist, i admit.. but i guess i keep myself company.. kinda 'entertained' just watching myself run.. watching my hooded singlet pop up-and-down.. watching the fringe ard my face pop up-and-down.. watching my now rosy pink chubby cheeks bounce up-and-down.. i guess its amusing.. =)

ok so here's 3-month holiday resolution (in random order)
#1: run at least once a week, twice would be good (i know myself, gotta be realistic)
#2: get a job (anyone interested in job-hunting with me? i dont wanna go back to wingtai for the 3rd time)
#3: Check out application info on exchange prgms and business minor
#4: Check out info for US uni's, in particular University of Illinois (Urbana-Champagne) amongst others
#5: take up kickboxing again (if the Amore gang's up for it)
#6: start reading the bible
#7: read "The Devil Wears Prada" *hehe* (ok in light of #1, i'll make myself run over to Patricia's house to get it lah..)
... i'll add more when i want more

girlnumber20 @ 2:47 AM | |

Sunday, April 18, 2004

hmm it's a bit past 3:30 now and some old family friends visiting from chicago just left to return to their hotel room at Fullerton.. why'd they stay so long? well there was this really heated discussion on the topic none other than religion.
With the guests and my mom being highly devoted believers of Christianity and my dad being the ever-so-violent and doubtful opposition.. i let my unsure self sit quietly by the coffee table as the 4 of them tried incessantly to persuade the other party..

Being old college friends of my parents, one main purpose of their visit (aside from the pampering massages and golf course of Bintan's Banyan Tree resort) was to spread the gospel to my notoriously stubborn father (he hides/trashes/confiscates my mom's bibles) They began with retelling an almost miraculously amazing life story of how they went from staying in a small Chinatown apt to owning a histotical mansion in the upskirts of Chicago plus 3 condo units that all boast a panoramic view of the downtown.. not to mention how both their sons so successfully graduated from top US colleges and were approached with such 'cant-ask-for-more' job opportunities.. the story's to long to tell here, and there were no teary life-and-death moments, but the series of events really illustrated the wonders of trusting in God, baring urself to Him, and being patient inspite/despite (im not sure which is more appropriate) having the free will of acting upon human capabilities, wants and judgements. This topic later broadened into the validity of Christianity altogether.

Being a girl that believes in God, talks to Him, wonders abt Him , but still cannot really understand how to love Him and is, for some reason, afraid to fully follow, their attempt at explaining/showing the wonders of Christianity once again nudged me into the direction of wanting to try again.. to try knowing Him.

My dad, whom i think gets a natural high from logic argument and rebutting, shot numerous "what ifs", "how comes", "if this.. then that.." type of doubting attacks. Those typical of a non-believer:
"why doesnt God just talk to me or show me a miracle to make m believe?"..
"How can u prove that the bible is really true?" ..
"Why is having aquired knowledge a sin in itself?" ..
"Why doesnt Jesus come back from time to time?" ..
"Why do bad things happen to good Christians and not just evil non-believers?" ..
"Why are his signs and messages so obsure and hard to understand?"..

im too sleepy now.. to cont. this entry now, but the point is, tonight raised alota questions that i guess do puzzle me sometimes... i shall do some pondering..

girlnumber20 @ 1:24 PM | |

Saturday, April 17, 2004

decided to give my poor blog a makeover since i've neglected for so long.. i'd like to have ur comments on the layout but when i changed the skin i forgot to copy the comments box thinggy and now its gone!! *boohoohoo* i 'll try and geddit back.. either that or i might try a tag board.. but theres a reason i 've never had a tagboard.. well i i think the concern is something that everyone would have at least secretly worried abt : "what if I no one tags me??.. oh no then i'll look loserish!" but then i figured, wth, its my blog and i can load it up with whatever i want.. but first - lets see if cyber-illiterate mil can even set it up.. heh

argh.. i dunno whats wrong with this template.. it wont let me leave lines btw my paragraphs!!
and the archives part is like screwed up.. only the babe by the pink ocean is pretty.. i'd like to lazy ard like her for awhile.. just a while.. after that i will embark upon my list of things to do during this 3-month holiday.. but first - i have to come up with a list.. i'll do that in the next entry..

I just watched "The Sound of Music".. i must've watched this show a million times and i can tell u the next three lines after every one, but i still love every moment of it.. filled with feel-good songs *grin*

girlnumber20 @ 9:08 AM | |

Friday, April 16, 2004

once again.. i havent posted in awhile.. exams u say? nah i think im just lazy.. life is short. why spend time talking/blogging abt it when u can actually do it?? okok.. i know u can write an entire argumentative essay on this against me.. but im not gonna read it.. hehe.. Why u ask? Cuz i've been cooped up in the little hole called "Exams are coming- study, mil!" for way too long and now im FREE!!!! now im in a vacuum that extends 'to infinitiy and beyond'.. a huge gigantic borderless dimention called "Exams are over - and by the looks of it you ain't gonna live long mil, so carpe diem!!"

okie enough griping.. only so much time for that..
on a lighter note, if you're in Law School now check out the statute Shane drafted on S.tudents N.ot A.ctually I.n L.aw S.chool: SNAILS OFFENCES ACT (and from there u'll also see why im not offended ;])

The insanity of heat nowadays in Singapore goes without saying.. it burns to even step out.. so now im lounging ard in my air-conditioned house watching a barry manilow concert with my dad.. he just performed Mandy.. absolutely beautiful song.. esp if you've watched Can't Hardly Wait..

"Oh Mandy,
Well you came and you gave without taking
but I sent you away, oh Mandy
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy"

girlnumber20 @ 3:27 AM | |

Don't pretend you weren't wondering..

Birthdate: 9 July 1984

msn: daydream247@hotmail.com

email: extraordinarymil@gmail.com

If you're my aquaintance and 'heard' frm somewhere that I 'look' Chinese but 'fake' an accent or something, I will explain now (though it's never once and for all): I'm an American born Chinese, my parents are Hongkongers. I was born in Chicago, raised in Hongkong till I was 5, moved to Boca Raton, Florida and stayed till I was 11, moved to Trophy Club, Texas and stayed till i was 13, moved to Singapore and have stayed there since. Throughout my preschool-univeristy life i have attended 13 schools so far. Was it tough? did it make me bitter? I dont think so, ask any of my friends.. or try and find someone who hates me.. *wink*